MERI IRINDIRA NIKULA

As I was a child, I was observing, wondering, making my own conclusions. Often, not feeling like I really belong here. This feeling has followed me through out my life. Feeling like an outsider in most situations, not really knowing how to be a human in today's world. 
 
Being a deeply fragile human being is a beautiful, yet such a challenging experience. No matter how powerful we might feel at times, it is inherent in the human experience to be fragile. We start out as helpless, tiny babies - and we all die, no matter how strong or successful we might have been at some point in our lives.  

When I started allowing the spiritual world to take more space in my every day existence, things started shifting. Sense of DEEP BELONING started to replace the feelings of being an outsider. Becoming aware of my energetic, spiritual essence has made it easier to have gentle compassion towards the transient nature of being human.

For me being a 'spiritual being having a human experience' is a continuos journey of courage and expansion. A journey into deepening compassion and understanding. And yet, never arriving to a specific destination.

It is a process of ​accepting all the human flaws, mistakes and everything we don't really want to acknowledge as a part of who we are. It is a process of embracing all of the shortcomings, the pain and the vulnerability and loving yourself, no matter what. No matter how desperate you might feel at times, no matter how deeply hurtful you might have been towards yourself - and other's.

Being  spiritual being having a human experience is about accepting that it is challenging for us all and even though we might have moments of great peace, bliss and pure alignment, there will always be moments when the human parts of us cry out their pain. And we must hold ourselves. We must cradle and caress all of those part of ourselves. As only with love will those parts start letting go. Only by loving ourselves through the humanness can we resurrect ourselves into wholeness. 

Tomorrow we will start the very first Art Meditation - 7 Day Experience. It has been deeply thrilling and often a truly blissful process of creation! Diving deep into the paintings of Pirkko Mäkelä-Haapalinna and letting my Vocal Blessings move through my whole being, has been a transformational journey for me. ​Have a look, take a minute to watch this short trailer and if you feel called to participate, join me in this deep dive through the mystery into greater peace.

​Hold your human self close.
​
Bless your sweet, gentle essence with all the kindness and love you can allow in.
It is a precious process of de-conditioning lifetimes of hurt.

It is a journey of allowing yourself to resurrect, to rise anew,
to face the hardships and shortcomings of your human self and still,
always, allow a new beginning to birth yourself again and again.

As long as you live.

With love,

​Meri

This seemingly simple idea has many layers.
There are some secrets and deep challenges embedded into it.
What does it even mean, you might ask, to be MORE of who you are -
​ are you not being yourself already..? 
​
Yes. Yes you are, already being you! I am who I am. However, we are multilayered beings and many of those layers we might not even be aware of. Layers of social conditioning, what has been expected of us. There are layers of the culture we are born into. Ideals of a good life, concepts and structures that have shaped us and how we respond to the world around us. 

​Who we truly are, then, becomes a little trickier to define! For me it has felt like peeling layer after layer of expectations that I have had for myself. Expectations based on how I have seen myself and the surrounding world. Finding new ways to see this shared reality, I am opening more and more for living in a constant state of unfolding.

I believe we live in a giant sphere of mystery. ​

Would you like to get more deeply connected with your inner world, your inner voice? I would love to go on this journey of discovery and reconnection together with you! It has been my passion to let more and more healing frequencies come through my voice and now I want to guide you into using YOUR VOICE as a tool of reconnection and energy healing.

​Ask your inner knowing if this is for you and trust that voice. My deepest wish for you is to find YOUR PATH of highest knowing and least resistance. It is a challenging but beautiful experience to be here as humans and I want to celebrate this life with all it's juicy variety.

​Much love to you on this Super Sunny February day!
​
May Your Uniqueness Shine Bright.
​
Meri

​The little forest next to our house is full of life. There are many visitors that come to us. The biggest guests I have started to receive more regularly are MOOSE. Yes... there are moose that walk around our house, taking a little bite here and there, of the surrounding trees. It is a rather majestic sight, those huge animals, leisurely walking around and about! (They come in the safety of the dark, so no photos to share, unfortunately).
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As I have been admiring the increasing number of animals and their traces, sometimes bringing clear messages,  the realisation came to me: in a sense, I am pathfinder. I am here to share the guidance I am receiving, so that many more would find the courage to follow to their own intuition. 

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​Close your eyes,
​take a few deep breaths
and let this
​VOCAL BLESSING for 2019 move through you:

​

I listen to the Vocal Blessing daily and read the message regularly, to keep on track. It is designed to align you with your Core Essence as well as the energies highlighted this year. It connects you with a deeper sense of purpose and gives greater clarity on what you need to focus on, to stay in alignment with your purest essence. 

Meri

This year has had a refreshing feel of newness to it for me!! Somehow... there seems to truly be a New Beginning, something I have been preparing for since a few years now. I want to show up even more fully with the gifts I have to share. It is becoming so clear now, how we are here to accelerate each other's processes, to support, encourage and embrace each other through the often challenging times on Planet Earth.

For me, to be truly FREE, I need to be able to embrace both birth and death, religion and new age, the beauty and the beast of me. I can be both wildly crazy as well as profoundly delicate. And so... it is. And so I am. 

Sharing part of a process I am working on, with a visual artist, Pirkko Mäkelä-Haapalinna, whose work resonates with me strongly.  Through our collaboration, I am going deep into the themes of religion, what it has meant for people (women!) through the ages and how we commit to things, both human and divine. With Pirkko deeper questions are allowed to exist. The very questions of our existence. The spaces within and between our first and last breath. 

Let my voice guide you into the depths of who you are. 
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Meri

It has been a very intense year for many, 2018. My experiences have been breaking me open time and time again. There has been continuous sense of unraveling who and what I am to recreate myself, over and over again. It has been very hard at times, but whenever I truly, TRULY drop in and listen to my soul's essence, there is always Gentle Grace to surrender into. 

With a soft heart I am giving thanks to all the highs and lows, the bliss and the chaos of 2018. It has been an important year and more is being revealed to us as we continue on our journeys. 

One of the guiding lights in my life is my amazing daughter Mimi. Almost every day there is a moment when I feel a sense of wonder, as sense of amazement of being her mother. The idea that I am a mother to someone... and that she would be such a glorious, brilliant, sweet and intelligent being! What a miracle! To end this year of revelations on a happier note, I share with you a picture of Santa that Mimi drew. Such a whimsical creature!  

With Love, Warm Heart and Radiant Soul, 

​Meri

This year the darkening season hit me hard. I thought I had conquered my shadows and achieved some state of inner peace, but something felt off and I fell into a mild depression. My mind was confused: where was this coming from and why was I still experiencing this..?!

We need to balance the overpowering energies of continuous striving. Darkness is that feminine principle of non-doing. Pure presence. Being enough, saying: it is ENOUGH now. Enough of consuming, enough of 'making more' enough of believing that 'continuous growth' is an important value above all else.

Continuous striving is part of the sickness we face in our human world and it is hurting us as it is hurting the planet. We know this. And yet... it is hard to embrace that darkness as we have learned to fear it. We have learned to fear the feminine essence and make it 'less than' the masculine. We have been taught that only light is holy and healing. But most of the universe is dark matter.  Darkness holds the seeds. In the womb it is dark as well. Darkness is nurturing, if we learn to let it be so and surrender into the healing it offers us. ​

As a child I loved lying down in the dark of the winter, on the bed of snow, looking far into the starry skies. This filled me with pure wonder and happiness! Such a simple joy with such a profound effect. The snow with it's icy sparks... has always given me such a sense of wonder and magic.

This autumn has gifted us with exceptionally glorious colours. It has felt like nature's way of filling us up with radiant beauty, bright coloured medicine to prepare us for the upcoming dark months. Nature is also celebrating the past season of growth and light. Treasuring the elixirs that sustain life. The trees turn their flow inwards - and let go. Gracefully, to become bare and silent again. ​ 

This morning, walking back home after taking my daughter to her kindergarten, I felt the invitation to enter the forest right next to our house. I somehow haven't been there that much, as it is not so easy to enter. It is a bit of a wild thing, not very big, but no paths, lots of moss, untamed growth, tricky terrain. I have already felt grateful and blessed for having this forest as our neighbour, but this morning, I truly fell in love with her... It felt like entering another reality. Very natural and simple, yet so magical and full of variety. ​

Since we moved here 1,5 years ago, I have felt a new era in my life beginning. So much has shifted and changed. Though I have been on this path for many years already, there is new depth I have been feeling into here. 

My body felt wonderful, walking in the forest terrain, as it makes all the joints move more creatively than on a steady, flat ground. The scents of decay and hidden treasures. Wisdom of the trees, the intelligence of their communication that we have only now begun to understand. The healing effect of being connected with nature. Becoming more accepting of our own limitations, our cycles, our death as part of life. 

In nature, tuning in with the changing seasons, we see life transforming right before our eyes.
This constant transformation is our nature too.
​Invitation for humble understandings of the fragility of life.

Even though I am all about purity, honesty and authenticity, there had been that lurking sense of having to 'make it' - financially, artistically, personally - in some 'bigger' way. Somehow more impressive, more awe-inspiring, more like I was really living the dream I have held dear and true to my heart. ​

Tune in with your sense of meaning, nurture that deep connection with your essence and have much love, gentleness and respect for yourself!

If you need any support with your journey, 
​I am here for you. 

​Meri

It is also a summer of 3 eclipses. Today, on Friday 13th July (in Europe) at the New Moon there was a Solar Eclipse. It is time to let go of old patterns and balancing the masculine/feminine energies in your life and your ancestral lineages. It is time to CREATE NEW PATHWAYS for your personal and professional self to express it's true essence. You might not see the whole picture yet, but listen in and welcome the insights you are receiving now. 

Tonight I will swim in the river
to let all what needs to leave, ​be washed away.

With the purity and the clarity of the Nordic Summer,

Meri

For a whole week in the beginning of June, at Art Ii Biennial, we immersed ourselves in water. Water as a metaphor, an element, as the flowing current of our emotional body. Being chosen as one of the artist for Art Ii Biennial 2018, States of Matter, truly felt like an honour and like an important turning point for me personally. My work is more and more about embracing healing practices combined with art. Here, this merging of high quality creative acts with high quality healing frequencies, felt natural and welcome. 

The creative process we went through was reflecting the states of water on Earth all too well. Originally our project, titled the 'Bottled Water Exports' was born with my dear friend and performing artist, Kate Gane, from Australia. We would finally get to collaborate! We would first work with art and healing in Finland, then in Australia. This was a vision that would reach around the globe. Kate is a sensitive soul living in close communion with the Earth. And she got ill. As Mother Earth is being polluted and abused by us humans, in the need for shifting our unbalanced actions, Kate's body become a vessel of transformation through cancer. She was unable to come. 

​Staying energetically connected with Kate to continue from a distance, we got a new collaborator in the mix, a third continent, to come perform with me in flesh and blood. Performance artist Ignacio Pérez Pérez, from Venezuela, currently on strike(!) and living in Helsinki, agreed to jump into the unknown with me. The conditions were different than initially planned. Instead of a few weeks working together, we only got some days. Even as the biennial started we were still finding our way through. Like the empty fortune cookie I got as we ate Chinese for lunch one day, the higher plan was made clear: trust your inner knowing.  

With so much love and tenderness, 

Meri

​P.S. More professional photos will be coming later. Video clips as well. This blog post shares part of our process with simple images and honest reflections.