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THROUGH THE WILDENESS WITHIN is a video project created during my pregnancy. It is my own journey into motherhood through the cycles of the changing season in Arctic Norway. Concept, Text, Narration, Video Appearance and Video Editing by Meri Nikula Location Assistant and Camera by Juha |
Through The Wilderness Within (The Narrative)
'' A journey to the unknown starts when you make yourself available. It is a deeply personal journey, between you and the source of all life. There is no looking back when you have crossed that invisible threshold. The seed is planted and the transformation begins. It is present in your body, taking hold of your inner landscape: your emotions, your thoughts, your perceptions of the surrounding world.
The vibrancy of the creative powers at work within your body is very palpable. It is a process that takes place at your very core, yet you have very little control over how it all unfolds. There has never been a greater sense of needing to simply surrender. And yet, I am more powerful in this process than I have ever been. There is a new kind of knowing, a new force field I am tapping into. A new level of understanding. It is a paradox of empowerment by complete surrender, by simply aligning with the expressive forces rushing through.
The transformation invades your whole being. Not just your body that has to accept a fast paced transformation. As the new soul prepares to enter the planet, your whole inner world that until now was your private territory, is stretching it’s limits to allow another human being to step in. Within a pregnancy, a whole new reality is being created.
Me, my body. Her body within me. Us in one body, connected by the tree of life, that pulsating placenta that has also grown within me to support the new life. I am hosting another human being, providing her with everything she needs.
Within my body’s nurturing care, she is adjusting to her physicality, starting to make her body her home. The world outside reaches through the thin walls of her nest. She can see the sun as the rays of light penetrate the womb. Muddled sounds vibrate through. And inside, the murmur of her mother’s organs, her blood stream, her heartbeat.
I am her first home on earth. I can feel her presence within me and around me. Even before that actual point of conception, the will of becoming was there. This will is expressed in the physical as the fertile embryo starts to divide and grow. Yet that force behind it all, the magnificent intelligence that orchestrates this highly complex becoming, is still a mystery that cannot be fully understood by human mind.
Floating inside me, in the liquid that surrounds and protects her, she lives between dimensions: she is here, yet not fully present. Gravity hasn’t gotten a firm hold of her just yet. Her tiny heart beats fast, as if full of excitement. That wavering heartbeat of those who already live but haven’t been born yet. She is already part of this world. This world is already a part of her reality.
We can control some aspects of this process of creation, but there is no controlling the souls who are to enter. We can only make ourselves available. This has been her chosen time and place, this is her chosen point of entry. I am her chosen mother in becoming. ''
Meri Nikula 2015
'' A journey to the unknown starts when you make yourself available. It is a deeply personal journey, between you and the source of all life. There is no looking back when you have crossed that invisible threshold. The seed is planted and the transformation begins. It is present in your body, taking hold of your inner landscape: your emotions, your thoughts, your perceptions of the surrounding world.
The vibrancy of the creative powers at work within your body is very palpable. It is a process that takes place at your very core, yet you have very little control over how it all unfolds. There has never been a greater sense of needing to simply surrender. And yet, I am more powerful in this process than I have ever been. There is a new kind of knowing, a new force field I am tapping into. A new level of understanding. It is a paradox of empowerment by complete surrender, by simply aligning with the expressive forces rushing through.
The transformation invades your whole being. Not just your body that has to accept a fast paced transformation. As the new soul prepares to enter the planet, your whole inner world that until now was your private territory, is stretching it’s limits to allow another human being to step in. Within a pregnancy, a whole new reality is being created.
Me, my body. Her body within me. Us in one body, connected by the tree of life, that pulsating placenta that has also grown within me to support the new life. I am hosting another human being, providing her with everything she needs.
Within my body’s nurturing care, she is adjusting to her physicality, starting to make her body her home. The world outside reaches through the thin walls of her nest. She can see the sun as the rays of light penetrate the womb. Muddled sounds vibrate through. And inside, the murmur of her mother’s organs, her blood stream, her heartbeat.
I am her first home on earth. I can feel her presence within me and around me. Even before that actual point of conception, the will of becoming was there. This will is expressed in the physical as the fertile embryo starts to divide and grow. Yet that force behind it all, the magnificent intelligence that orchestrates this highly complex becoming, is still a mystery that cannot be fully understood by human mind.
Floating inside me, in the liquid that surrounds and protects her, she lives between dimensions: she is here, yet not fully present. Gravity hasn’t gotten a firm hold of her just yet. Her tiny heart beats fast, as if full of excitement. That wavering heartbeat of those who already live but haven’t been born yet. She is already part of this world. This world is already a part of her reality.
We can control some aspects of this process of creation, but there is no controlling the souls who are to enter. We can only make ourselves available. This has been her chosen time and place, this is her chosen point of entry. I am her chosen mother in becoming. ''
Meri Nikula 2015